NIGHT TERRORS, DAY REALITIES

NIGHT TERRORS, DAY REALITIES

Fear that this is how I die
Alone with no one by my side
Anxiety starts to quicken my breath
Without love or passion I have nothing left
Maybe it's better that I die this way
Instead of living lonely every single day
I begin to welcome eternal darkness, wishing for it
Life hasn't been the best, maybe it's time to quit
But the back of my mind still wants to fight
In all this darkness there's still a faint light I want to fight to live, but is it worth it anymore?
With no hope of passion in sight, I have nothing to live for
No one would even care if I blinked out of existence
There would be no tears, no mourning witnesses
There has to be some kind of reason to go on
Racing thoughts in my head, awake until the night becomes dawn
Nothing but silence and the beating of my heart
Depression covers me as another day starts
Another day alone with no purpose in life
Tired and worn out battling my thoughts from last night
Deep down scars that will never be healed
Wishing and hoping I would find love that's real
But that's nothing but a dream for someone like me
Broken people are avoided and I'm as broken as I can be
If there is a God, why did he put me on this earth?
If life is such a gift, why does it feel like a curse?
Why did you make me so ugly and worthless?
This shallow world will never look beyond the surface
They'll only see the face of a lonely broken soul
Who fits in nowhere and will never be whole
So much pain beneath that no one will ever know
Because I'm shunned from society everywhere I go
But this is what it is, I'm wanted by no one
As I travel to the ends of the earth until the setting sun
Anxiety and sadness are my only two friends
Who will always be with me until my life ends
No hope, no light, nothing to look forward to at all
Until the night comes again and once again the darkness calls.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone