GIVING UP HOPE

GIVING UP HOPE

My soul has been torn apart from constant rejection
I know I'll always be alone
I'm not falling for the same deception
That my heart will finally find a home
It's a dream,  a fantasy, it will never become real
This world of vanity and materialism makes me an outcast
It's all about what you have and not what you feel
I was stupid for thinking personality is what matters and loneliness wouldn't last
No more rejections for me, I have given up hope
I have stopped looking for someone who will never be
It's either that or hang myself from a rope
And ending it all from the rejection I always see
I'm saving my life by giving up on this lost cause
I can't take another line about me being a nice guy
Getting my hopes up, and my sadness is at a pause
To be let down again as she smiles and waves goodbye
It has to end and I'll just end it myself
And be real with the world and stop all that dreaming
That I would find someone and no longer be by myself
And for once, something on this planet would have some kind of meaning
I'm killing the hope to save myself from insanity
To stop resisting the darkness and let it in
Love doesn't exist anymore in the realms of humanity
I'm killing the light and letting the darkness win
It's the only way I'll be able to go on
The only way I'll continue to exist
It's better than having a false hope that flickers and is gone
Like the lights of a car in thick fog and mist
I am back where I belong, embracing the darkness once again
It was useless to look for something that was never there
Darkness has and will always be my one true friend
Goodbye hope and love , hello endless despair.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone

HOLDING ON TO HOPE (WHAT'S LEFT OF IT)

HOLDING ON TO HOPE (WHAT'S LEFT OF IT)

Another rejection, another let's be friends
I just wonder when the rejection will end
Hoping that one day I will find someone
Before it all goes dark and my life is done
Hoping someone sees past my looks and finds the real me
Day after day, I grow tired of the loneliness I see
I just want a chance to prove that I'm real
Just one small chance to show someone how I feel
Pleading to anyone who will listen with sadness in my eyes
I want to experience being loved once before I die
Amidst the tears, sadness, and near the end of my rope
Despite being ugly in a beautiful society I hold on to hope
Maybe one day, someone will show compassion
And I'll share my world with her like I always imagined
Someone I can open up to and spill out my soul
Someone I can wrap my arms around and gently hold
She'll see past my cracks and tears to what's inside
I won't be alone anymore and no longer will I hide
It's a slim chance that it will ever come true
And I don't know why I hold on to foolish hope but I still do.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone

NIGHT TERRORS, DAY REALITIES

NIGHT TERRORS, DAY REALITIES

Fear that this is how I die
Alone with no one by my side
Anxiety starts to quicken my breath
Without love or passion I have nothing left
Maybe it's better that I die this way
Instead of living lonely every single day
I begin to welcome eternal darkness, wishing for it
Life hasn't been the best, maybe it's time to quit
But the back of my mind still wants to fight
In all this darkness there's still a faint light I want to fight to live, but is it worth it anymore?
With no hope of passion in sight, I have nothing to live for
No one would even care if I blinked out of existence
There would be no tears, no mourning witnesses
There has to be some kind of reason to go on
Racing thoughts in my head, awake until the night becomes dawn
Nothing but silence and the beating of my heart
Depression covers me as another day starts
Another day alone with no purpose in life
Tired and worn out battling my thoughts from last night
Deep down scars that will never be healed
Wishing and hoping I would find love that's real
But that's nothing but a dream for someone like me
Broken people are avoided and I'm as broken as I can be
If there is a God, why did he put me on this earth?
If life is such a gift, why does it feel like a curse?
Why did you make me so ugly and worthless?
This shallow world will never look beyond the surface
They'll only see the face of a lonely broken soul
Who fits in nowhere and will never be whole
So much pain beneath that no one will ever know
Because I'm shunned from society everywhere I go
But this is what it is, I'm wanted by no one
As I travel to the ends of the earth until the setting sun
Anxiety and sadness are my only two friends
Who will always be with me until my life ends
No hope, no light, nothing to look forward to at all
Until the night comes again and once again the darkness calls.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone

IT WAS ALWAYS HER

IT WAS ALWAYS HER

Through the sadness and pain
Through the darkness and rain
Through the sad, lonely nights
And through most of his life
It was always her

She was all that mattered
His world was shattered
But just the sound of her laugh
Made the darkness a thing of the past

Through the turmoil in his mind
Through the madness of time
Through the troubles in his soul
It was the thought of her that kept him whole

It was only her he cared about
It was only her who erased his doubt
It was only her that mattered on this cruel earth
It was only her that going through hell was worth

It was her that was his light
It was her that made him fight
It was her that made him live
For her, his heart he would give.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone

SHOW HER YOU CARE

SHOW HER YOU CARE

Don’t  say empty words that you can’t fulfill
And when she needs you, you just walk away
Don’t leave her abandoned on a windy hill
Show you you love her each and every day
Be open, tell her that she is your world
Show her by never taking her for granted
Lift her off her feet, and spin around in a twirl
Like something out of a movie enchanted
Comfort her when she’s feeling sad
Show empathy and give her a loving embrace
Make her know she’s the best thing you ever had
Wipe her tears away and put a smile on her face
Treat her like royalty because she is a queen
With an amazing aura around her head like a crown
This is what you wanted, the woman of your dreams
So give her what she needs, never let her down
She gave you a precious gift, that was her heart
Treat if like the greatest treasure a man can hold
Tenderly take care of her, never tear her apart
She’s beautiful, more precious than any jewel or gold
Out of everyone else, she chose you
Share your world and open your soul
Show her there's nothing you wouldn't go through
To show her you care because she's beautiful and bold.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone

THE QUEEN AND THE BLACKSMITH

THE QUEEN AND THE BLACKSMITH

He wasn’t royalty, he was just a normal man
No riches at all, just a forger of steel
He admired the beautiful queen of the land
Armies would fight at the sound of her voice
As she said the oath and shouted orders
She inherited the kingdom, it wasn’t her choice
But now it’s her duty to protect the borders
He dreamed of her often while he slept
Knowing when awake, the dreams are gone
He doesn't know the time she's wept
over him but life goes on

She's a queen, she can't be with a lowly man
Even if that lowly man is the one she desires
She has her duties to protect the land
And can't think about the one who forges with fire
But she can't keep him off of her mind
By the laws, her desire isn't right
She must marry prince of royalty likewise
With a family name that inspires might
She must summon him to court to tell him how she feels
But she must send her subjects away
How her heart beats for the forger of steel

He walks into her court, unsure of what he did
He obeyed the laws and never broke the code
He sees her beauty but must keep his feelings hid
Or maybe he's here because someone told?
That can't be at all, he never told a soul
He walks to her throne, amazed with her grace
Her eyes, her hair made her simply stunning
How he dreamed of kissing the lips on that face
He stayed calm as he heart was nervously pumping

She told her subjects to leave, then they were alone
Nothing but silence filled the throne room
Then she spoke with a pleasant tone
To him her voice was a lovely tune
"Blacksmith, even though it may be wrong I can see the way you look at me
I, too have wanted you for so long
But you must know that we can never be."
With a startled look, he dropped to his knees
And humbly showed respect for her crown
"My beautiful Queen, if I may speak
You are the most beautiful woman all around
You're all I ever wanted, graceful and strong
Beauty and wits, sharper than a sword
Your voice is heavenly, like n angel's song
I hang on to your every spoken word
I long for you to but that's not our fate
I only have one request and please comply with this
I hope to the Gods that it's not to late
It would be a dream to have one simple kiss."

She got up of her throne and walked up to him
He stood up and and looked into her eyes
She reached out and touched his chin
Gently pulled him closer, it was like paradise
Their lips met and this was something he couldn't believe
The seconds felt like a beautiful eternity
Her kiss was as soft and sweet as he always dreamed
It stirred many emotions going on internally
After a lifetime, the kiss came to an end
He could only stand there, completely speechless
For her love and glory, he would always defend
All is silent still as outside a hawk screeches
So close and yet so far from their true goals
He knew with her is where he belonged
But it can't be because of the laws that seemed so old
Their feelings were so right, how could it be wrong?
In a world where royalty and gold rules
A simple man will never be able to be with a queen
But at least there was a magical moment shared between the two
And together they will always be together in their dreams.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone

IT PAINS ME

IT PAINS ME

It pains me to think of what could have been
To see you walking hand in hand with him
I guess you forgot all about the deep talks The time we spent together and the long walks
I used to talk to you on the phone every day
But somewhere along the line you drifted away
And now you found someone else and crushed me to the floor
If you gave me a chance, we could have been much more
But I opened myself up to you and this is the thanks I get
Looking  at those past moments with nothing but regret
I don't want to hear how much you're in love
Don't contact me with stuff I don't want to know of
I truly cared for you and you never even cared
Told you all about me, I laid myself bare
I guess the way I am was too much for you
I wish you could have been up front and told me the truth
Another rejection, how much more can I take?
I know being alone for life is my only real fate
Don't send me pictures of you holding his hand
You've done enough to make me a worthless man
At least I'm used to the pain, this is nothing new
But I still wish you the best in all that you do
I wish you didn't deceive me and tell me lies
That you wanted to know me deep down inside
You messed with my head giving me hope
But left me hanging from a noose on a rope
Leaving me slowly dying, struggling for air
Waiting for you to rescue me and you're no longer there
Leaving me to the lonely pain I'll forever know
Alone for a lifetime, though I wish it wasn't so
At least I know for who I am, no one will ever accept
A lonely loser with depression who's socially inept
I'll always be on the outside looking in
Battling my sadness that seems to always win.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone

FIGHTING AGAINST THE DARKNESS

FIGHTING AGAINST THE DARKNESS

Look at yourself, you're fat and ugly!
No woman wants someone like you, tubby!
You should be wiped from the earth's surface
Look at yourself!  End it now, you're so worthless!

No I'm not!  Someone will love me someday! Someone will love me for me and my quirky ways
I'm not ending my life, it has just begun
It's you that I should be getting away from!

You need me fool, I tell you the truth!
Haven't I been right ever since your youth You put yourself out there to get cut down again
You know this darkness inside will never end!

The darkness will end, I'll let the light in
I'll silence you for good and happiness will begin
I've had enough of you controlling my life
You won't bring me down to my knees tonight!

Wow, you are stupid and oh so pathetic
You really believe that positive thinking rhetoric?
Don't believe it, you know what you are
You're nothing but one pitiful scar!

That's not true, I have a reason to live
I have a kind heart and lots of love to give
One day things will get better you see
I will have conquered you and I'll be free!

Good luck on that you have been trying for years
But I've had you beaten down, crying in tears
I've had you thinking you're nothing in this world
That's why you keep getting rejected by every girl!

Leave me alone, I want you to go away
These dark thoughts won't ruin me today
The battle is relentless, I'll continue to fight
You won't leave me defeated in eternal night!

Don't you see, I've already won
You already think you'll never find anyone
You've already accepted this from dark fate
You're at my feet and full of self hate!

This constant battle I always have in my head
I'm bringing on the positive and not the negative instead
The battle is tough and I may have already lost
But I must keep on fighting, no matter what the cost.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone

ALONE FOR LIFE

ALONE FOR LIFE

There's no one out there for me
This I know is true
Being alone is all I'll ever be
No matter what I do
I can be the kindest guy
And have a gentle soul
But I know why
No one will accept me as a whole
I'm one of those people
No one will ever fully love
Life can be cruel and evil
So I curse the Gods above
Why give me this kind heart
Which I'm so ready to give
But I'll always be alone and apart
For as long as I live?
This is a cruel joke
Where everyone laughs
While I stand without hope
And the lonely sting lasts
There's no one out there
I gave up on that possibility
The rejection I can no longer bear
As I speak lonely a soliloquy
The truth is so painful to swallow
But it must be accepted
My soul will be forever empty and hollow
No one wants a human who's defective.
©2014 Darryl Mouzone